Sofas and armchairs aren’t as safe as a bed. There are risks, highest in babies under three months, and in premature babies. But we all know it happens: exhausted mums and dads fall asleep feeding babies in bed all the time. It’s not safeīed sharing with under 1s is not recommended, even for breastfeeding mums. That’s because most children in the world don't have their own bedrooms. In a study of 186 non- western cultures, 67 percent of children were found to sleep in the company of others. In most parts of the world, not co-sleeping is considered weird. Oh really? Well, we’ll let you use your imagination, here – but let’s just say that the bedroom isn’t the only place you and your significant other can have some alone time together. Independence stems from security, and other studies find that kids who co-slept with their parents are more confident and emotionally healthy as a result of having that security in early life. In 2011, an American study found that sharing your bed with a toddler has no negative impact on behaviour, development or learning. This one’s been proven false – by science. Some of the deepest conversations around co-sleeping are actually rooted in myths. As long as they know you’ll be there, they’ll work through it. But a secure, safe and loving environment is the foundation of any child’s success. Actually, some of us have felt that need in adulthood. There will be times when they’re upset or unwell, or just need mum or dad at night. Read more: How to help your child sleep in their own bedroom If you feel it’s time, then work towards helping your child sleep in their own room by tackling the challenges they face with sleeping alone. Or – maybe there’s an element of your own comfort at stake if you were to lose it: be honest with yourself, and assess who’s benefiting more from co-sleeping. If you feel it’s time to stop co-sleeping, then it’s time to stop. You’re the parent, and you have final say. That’s not to say it’s all up to them, little dictators though they are. No more joining in with games, no more being embarrassing (whatever that means) – and no more sharing a bed with you. In time, kids begin to draw their own lines: no more kisses and cuddles in public, especially at the school gates. Knowing when to stop: is there an age limit to co-sleeping? Transitioning from always sharing a bed to reactive co-sleeping is pretty common, and parents in this situation might be wondering how long it’ll last – or when they should stop. Most parents will experience all three, in different degrees and at different stages. This is usually the parents’ bed, and this is the world’s most common sleeping arrangement.įinally, there’s reactive co-sleeping, when a child goes to sleep in their own bedroom, but wakes up and gets into bed with their parents at some point during the night. Then there’s bed sharing – where there’s a “family bed” that everyone shares as the normal place to sleep every night. This could be in the child’s bed, in the parents’ bed, or anywhere else the family happens to be. There’s plain old co-sleeping, which is where a child and one or more parents sleep in the same place, as the norm. And you’re doing great.Ĭo-sleeping happens in a few ways. We’re not here to invalidate anyone’s concerns, or convince anyone to do something that doesn’t feel right for their family – we just want to try and dispel the myths, present the facts, and remind you that if you’re co-sleeping, it’s okay. Little red flags can give way to proper diagnoses, and that can improve our kids’ chances in areas where they struggle we can understand them better, and they can understand themselves, too.īut when it comes to sleep, and particularly co-sleeping, there seems to be a very strict divide: parents who do it and parents who don’t. Benchmarking our children’s’ developmental steps is just something we do, consciously or otherwise. Even the coolest, most laid-back mums and dads have done the same comparison – at least in their heads. “My friend’s daughter sleeps through the night in her own bed – she’s never wet the bed either, and she’s only two!”Īnd that’s actually completely normal. Thoughts can run through your head, like: We won’t always understand the uniqueness of each other’s children – but things can get stressful when we turn them into a game of comparison. What’s the harm in it?ĭespite us all facing similar challenges, we parents can be a judgemental bunch sometimes. After conquering solid foods, walking, potty training and talking, getting a full nights’ sleep without sneaking into the “family bed” in the small hours can remain for years. It’s not always bad, and it’s not always good – but for so many parents, co-sleeping feels like the final frontier of independence.
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